Image via Wikipedia

Everything has its season
Everything has its time
Show me a reason and I’ll soon show you a rhyme
Cats fit on the windowsill
Children fit in the snow
Why do I feel I don’t fit in anywhere I go?

Rivers belong where they can ramble
Eagles belong where they can fly
I’ve got to be where my spirit can run free
Got to find my corner of the sky

Every man has his daydreams
Every man has his goal
People like the way dreams have
Of sticking to the soul
Thunderclouds have their lightning
Nightingales have their song
And don’t you see I want my life to be
Something more than long….

Rivers belong where they can ramble
Eagles belong where they can fly
I’ve got to be where my spirit can run free
Got to find my corner of the sky

So many men seem destined
To settle for something small
But I won’t rest until I know I’ll have it all
So don’t ask where I’m going
Just listen when I’m gone
And far away you’ll hear me singing
Softly to the dawn:

Rivers belong where they can ramble
Eagles belong where they can fly
I’ve got to be where my spirit can run free
Got to find my corner of the sky

Your mother passed me a glass of water, trying not to cry.  She was heartbroken ever since you died.  Ever since you left her, left me.  We warned you so many times about your drugs.  We begged you to stop.  You wouldn’t, you couldn’t.  We loved you.  We wanted only the best for you but you were determined to fuck it up.

I can’t even feel if you’re here or not.  Is that you?  Sitting on your bed, watching me cry in your room, holding the bear I won you at the fair last year.  You said you loved me and that I was “the only thing in this goddamn world that made you happy.”

I forgive you.  I know why you did it.  Your mother told me.  She said your father was a drunk, said he used to hit you, said he finally just walked out leaving the two of you behind.  She said she had to steal and borrow and beg just to keep food on the table…and you, you who loved your daddy more than anything grew cold, detached.  You felt nothing…

When she saw the needles she said nothing at first, hoping it was just a phase but, deep down, I think she knew…I think she was afraid to talk to you about it…afraid you would leave her too…then she’d be completely alone.  She is now anyway but don’t worry.  I’ll take care of her for you.  I loved you more than anything.  I still do…and for that, I can take care of your mother for you.

Related articles

• Your Mom. (heycallmeatreasurehunter.wordpress.com)

Cover of Coraline (Single-Disc Edition w/ 3D)

Freewriting.  I’m not very good at this but it gets me in the habit of writing for at least 10 minutes a day.

Coraline, little girl and cat.  “Cat’s Eye” has a lot to do with a dream I had once.  I don’t remember much about it.  I just remember being in an orphanage with stacked bunk beds and tons of kids.  There were cats roaming the place with the kids.  Can’t explain it but it had that creepy Roman catacomb look and feel to it…which inspired the priest.  All I really remember is the black cat’s eye…Green.  Not regular cat green but Roger Rabbit “dip” green, glowing nuclear waste green.  Scared me pretty bad, though it’s a bit embarrassing to say.  The dream was a nightmare but I’m glad I had it.

My daughter’s name is Oriana Terra.  That’s the name we’ve given her.  They say a common name encourages people to have common expectations for you.  That’s why I gave her something unique and beautiful for her name.

Maybe that’s why I’m a writer and a…fill in the blank.  Perhaps if my name were actually Rooster or Vincenzo like my characters…life would be different.  What’s in a name?  That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

Less than 3 minutes.

Damn.  My hand hurts.  Green castles come to mind.  Keep writing.  Need to focus on the stories I already have.  Freewriting is for studying days, not for writing days…from now on.  Unless there’s something important to write on here during writing days.

So…

Until next week…

Okay, 1 minute left.

Wow, a lot of writing happens in 10 minutes.

I should be able to finish stories with ease at this pace.  Too bad ideas don’t come to me like they used to.  Almost done.

Now.  Done.

* Cat’s Eye is one of my many ongoing writing projects.

Image via Wikipedia

A long time ago…okay, not so long ago, I lost my first wife to greed (hers, not mine).  It hurt a lot at first but somehow I knew I’d be better off.  She wasn’t right for me, she didn’t deserve me and she didn’t make me happy…but hey, love is blind.

Now the only things I feel I’ve lost from that time in my life are my most treasured possessions from that time in my life.  I sold all my video games to keep her out of jail – a trade I would take back in an instant if given the chance.  Plus everything I lost in the divorce.  I didn’t lose them per se, it was just easier to walk away and start all over again.

So many things I gave up to her, all lost.  I’m more upset about losing those things than I am about losing her.  For the life of me, I can’t even remember what she looked like anymore.

Now I have two beautiful girls (my wife and daughter) who treat me respect and love me for me.  They never cease to make me smile.  If only they knew what I was writing about them right now.  I might get myself a couple of kisses.  At least I hope so.

Damnation.

You know, not the religious definition, but the literal meaning…being stopped from progress.  I hate being in limbo.  Neither good nor bad…I just want to progress.  What else?  Heat, work, who knows?  I get depressed easily.  I’ve never really had the blues, though.  No sad music pulsing through my veins to remind me that life is meant to be sorrowful.

Alright, let’s focus on limbo.  Freewriting about literal damnation would be so boring.  How do you expand on a dead end?  Just a thought – I’ve actually made more progress the last 2 months than I have in a long, long time.  Seriously, that’s both a tragedy and a miracle.  I just hope that I can keep the…uh…momentum…I had to think of that word.  So sorry.  I cheated.

Oh well.  On a side note, this time music is actually helping me.  Love Glycerine by Bush.  “I’m never alone.  I’m in love all the time.  We live in a wheel…”  Best image of being stuck.  I can’t explain why – it’s just something so different.  Unique.

Whoa, out of body experience.  I kind of felt like I just woke from a daze.  Hope that means my creative juices are flowing again…Kill the logical side, fuel the creative.

5 Minutes to Go.

What to say?

Oh wait, 4 minutes.

Wow, this is getting so long.  I need to write ‘Medley.’  Honestly, if I just sat down and did it, it’d be done so soon.  Tomorrow, 5 AM – you, me, this blog.  Talking to my keyboard.  That’s not weird at all.

3 Minutes.

Go with the flow.  Honestly, this is awesome.  With a quality 2 hours every morning I should be able to write the first ‘Medley’ novel in no time.  Honest.

1 Minute.

Maybe Rach is right.  I should just write that zombie story even though it’s too late.  I’ll do it.  Sounds good.

Wow, Queens of the Stone Age looks freaky.

And I’m done.

Your mom passed me a cold glass of water.  I thanked her before sipping the cool liquid.  She tried desperately to speak to me but only tears came out.  Poor thing.  Ever since you OD’d.  Where did she go wrong?  She loved you.  I loved you?  Where have you gone?  Money, clothes, drugs.  Anything you could get your hands on.  Is this real?  Poor thing.  A parent’s nightmare.  A daughter ODs.  Who knows what’s going on in your life?

This prompt may be the beginning of something great.  I’m actually imagining that the girl has died somewhere and her spirit is actually present, overhearing the conversation between the mother and the boy.  I can actually see pulling a Sixth Sense and have her character unaware that she’s dead until the end.

I did a skit somewhat like this with a friend of mine, Stephanie, back in high school.  It was a woman and her husband arguing.  At the end of the skit, you discover that the husband is dead.  The lights came up and revealed my grave.  Everybody cheered.

Don’t you think a dead girl would make a better impression, though?  It would be more real.  Imagine an argument – the mother and the boy against the girl (and she doesn’t know she’s dead) and they don’t know she’s arguing back.

Wow, this may be the best idea that I’ve had in a while.  That’s depressing.  I’d better put a deadline to this story so I know it gets done.  I’ll probably open it back up in 2013.  It’s not really relevant ’till then.  I have so many open projects right now.

Image via Wikipedia

I just finished watching Anonymous.  Twice.  And then once more.  Let me preface this post by letting you know that I irrefutably stand behind William Shakespeare and believe with all my heart and soul that he is who he claimed to be – this world’s greatest writer.

That being said, I loved this film.  With a surprisingly phenomenal cast led by Rhys Ifans as Edward De Vere, the Earl of Oxford whom Roland Emmerich gives credit for the Shakespearean writings.  The plot is so finely put together that I could tell Emmerich was not simply telling a story he read somewhere.  He truly stands behind this work and believes that Shakespeare was nothing more than a whining, self-important gluttonous and lecherous drunk.

Having just completed a novel in November 2010 based loosely upon the life of William Shakespeare and his family’s link to the secrets of immortality, it was an amazing experience to see the time frame brought to life properly.  The last film in which I saw William Shakespeare as a character was Shakespeare in Love which, while entertaining, was not even remotely based upon the reality that surrounded his life.

I remain a firm believer that Shakespeare was the actual writer of the Shakespearean plays, poems and sonnets.  I have my reasons and hope to share them with you in the near future.  However, I do believe that Roland Emmerich made some valid and interesting points in his argument of Shakespeare’s claim to fame.  There are many mysteries that are, as of yet, unsolved.

There is a line near the end of the film by the writer Ben Johnson that more addressed the Shakespearean writings than the man who wrote them that I felt was the most beautiful way of expressing his love for the plays.  He said first to Edward De Vere through a curtain of passionate tears:

“I find your words the most wondrous heard on the stage.  On any stage, ever.  You are the soul of the age.”

And then later to Edward’s wife:

“My Lady, you, your family, even I, even Queen Elizabeth herself will be remembered solely because we had the honor to live whilst your husband put ink to paper.”

If you’re not familiar with the histories surrounding Edward De Vere and his relationship with the Court of England, I will not spoil the film for you.  I highly recommend the movie for any fan of the Shakespearean writings no matter which side of the debate you stand on.

I’ve told you of my belief that William Shakespeare is the true writer.  What’s your opinion?  Was Shakespeare a writer?  Or was he a mask for the real writer?

Image by ~C4Chaos via Flickr

(Disclaimer:  This was intended to be a short paragraph expressing my agreement with a link my friend posted against SOPA.  It turned into this rant of political opinion.  As a writer, free content is something I’m passionate about and probably couldn’t live without.  In fact, if it weren’t for free content, I would have no idea what the SOPA bill even was.  Thanks.)

(Special Warning to Family and Friends:  There could possibly, maybe, potentially be bad words in this post. Spoiler: 1.)

If SOPA [and PIPA] are passed, it is only the beginning.  It won’t stop at piracy.  After piracy is no longer a threat, they will stop free content.  After removing free content sites like Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and Wikipedia, they will go after every website and/or blog that speaks negatively on political issues.  Soon after that, they will make religious content illegal.

SOPA and PIPA are not the first assault against our right to Free Speech and it will not be the last.  This is FIRST Amendment.  That means that it is more important than any other Amendment written.  “Congress shall make no law…abridging freedom of speech.”  If we allow the FIRST amendment to be abolished, we are opening the door for the U.S. government to abolish the Constitution altogether.

I don’t care if you agree with the government’s attempt to end piracy or make obscene Internet material illegal, you can not allow them to do so.  Because the first Amendment also protects your rights to practice your own RELIGION, to express your own OPINIONS, to know the truth from your NEWS, to ASSEMBLE in PROTEST (which our government already requires permits for – meaning they CAN and DO have the authority to prevent you from practicing this right), and last, but most important, the First Amendment protects your right to complain to and about your government in order to change things.

Stop SOPA!  Stop PIPA!  Stop GOVERNMENT CONTROL!

I recently read the novel Animal Farm by George Orwell.  It discusses society’s pattern of corruption.  America once overthrew a corrupted nation in order to protect its own rights.  Now we, as Americans, must stand up for those rights before the “PIGS” who run our government begin to walk as corruptly as “MEN.”

Do not allow the U.S. to become as corrupt as the government from which it won its freedom.  Fight back.  Contact your Senator, your Congressman, the President.  Whoever.  Don’t stop calling, writing letter and knocking on doors until these BASTARDS (my right to say this about U.S. politicians is protected by the First Amendment) have heard you.

Our government is boiling us in a pot only 1 degree at a time.  We won’t realize that all our rights have been taken away from us until it is too late.  Don’t stand by and let them take control.

We are not a Communist nation.  We are both a democracy (a form of government in which the supreme power is vested in the people and exercised directly by them) and a republic (a state in which the supreme power rests in the body citizens entitled to vote and is exercised by representatives chosen directly or indirectly by them).  Do not allow them to turn us into a monarchy or a socialist nation.

DO NOT REMAIN SILENT.  If you do so, you are letting the government know that you are okay with them taking away your freedoms – the same freedoms that our founding fathers fought, bled and died for – one at a time.

I know my family believes I’m not as enthusiastic about being an American as they are but that is because I believe the ideal government which our forefathers fought for is all but gone, a few pieces of freedom still hanging by a thread.  Don’t let our government take what is left of American freedom.

We are America.  They are OUR elected officials.  We chose them.  They serve us.  Not the other way around.  Do not stand for this blatant assault on our freedoms.

Anyway, sorry to go off on a political tangent there.

Related articles

• The Title of This Post Is Censored by Sopa (altastic.wordpress.com)
• This is your brain on SOPA. (theliteraryphoenix.wordpress.com)
• UPDATE to Urgent and frightening (sosmass.wordpress.com)

Image via CrunchBase

(Copied from my freewriting journal again…)

Freewriting again?  Well, here goes.  So, I was watching a video on YouTube and I found out that I can totally use the Hot for Words girl for freewriting ideas because she gives you all the homework assignments after each of her videos…so this video’s homework assignment is:  What do I want for Christmas?  (I’m a little behind in watching these).  Well, I couldn’t really think of anything other than a batch of PS3 games but hopefully now that it’s January I won’t have to wait that long to get them.  I need a raise first, though.

Studying for life insurance sucks.  WTF am I doing?  No idea!  But whatever, gotta try.  It’s worth $450 up front and $150 extra every check.  Why am I writing about one of my client’s projects?  I suck.  I absolutely hate that job.  Sometimes I just want to pull a “Wanted” scene and throw shit at my boss.  Maybe smash somebody’s face in with my keyboard so the keys spelling F-U-C-K Y-O-U, with the second U being a human tooth.

I am stoked that my little girl is now 2 years old.  Seriously, there’s nothing better than being a father.  I just have no clue what I’m doing.  I thought I’d have something figured out by now.

Music is distracting me.  I shouldn’t listen to music while I freewrite anymore.  My hand hurts and writing isn’t helping me.  I’m just so lost about what to write next.  Honestly, I’m so behind on my writing.  Eleanor Rigby – I love this song.  Dammit!  That shit is distracting.  Okay, I’m done.